when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
