Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm always down for nudity.
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