I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Enjoy the penises
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
