It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
