Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
