Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
