Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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