I think I won the penis lottery.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
