No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
