Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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