I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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