I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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