Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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