Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
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I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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