Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
