Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
