I must be too annoying 4 u.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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