Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize