I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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