No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
