Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
