We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so let's talk penis.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
