he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
