i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i believe in u and ur pee
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
