youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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