Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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