Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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