Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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