I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
