I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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