Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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