Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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