Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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