I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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