some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
