Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
