You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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