I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
