you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
