So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You were trust falling into bushes
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
