it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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