Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
