the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
