OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
