You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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