i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
