just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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