its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
