Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
