He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
