If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
