Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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