When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
