To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
