we have officially lost it.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
