I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize