she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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