The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The power of my boobs compel you
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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