I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
