Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
