In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If I die, sorry about rent.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
