I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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